Real fun sex

Added: Melaine Pewitt - Date: 20.09.2021 11:49 - Views: 35386 - Clicks: 8908

For a long time, the problem was pregnancy, which set sharp limits to the idea of sex as unalloyed pleasure. To our credit, the unwed mother is no longer the primary figure of sexual shame and, for better or worse, even most Catholics have rejected the traditional teaching that sex outside of marriage is always immoral.

The onus has crossed the gender-line, and the primary object of condemnation is the male rapist. Rapes, moreover, are now recognized as not just the acts of violent criminals lurking in dark alleys or breaking into homes. Rapists are more likely to be bosses, coworkers, friends, lovers, or husbands. And the category of sexual harassment now includes everything from rape narrowly defined to almost any form of unwanted sexual attention. In this new sexual ethics, consent is the central category, if not the only category.

Rape and other forms of sexual harassment mean that a victim has not consented. But consent can be difficult to pin down. Is an explicit agreement required at each successive stage of sexual activity? What degree of intoxication makes consent impossible? Can sex with employers, teachers, and other authority figures ever be truly consensual?

The joyous freedom of the sexual revolution drowns in a sea of anxious legalisms. There is simple, practical advice we can and should give about how to avoid being a victim or a perpetrator of sexual assault. But subtleties, complications, and surprises are what make sex so exciting, so human—and so impossible to govern by inflexible rules. Core human values such as love, respect, and self-identity are always in play.

Sex is a problem for us mainly because we conflate it with fun. Look at college life—the post-pill paradise so many adolescents long for. In another social milieu, a nice dinner, an interesting movie, and some great sex add up to a fun evening. The intimate role of alcohol or other drugs in our sex lives deserves special notice. Getting drunk is a preferred method of removing ingrained emotional and moral obstacles to the fun of sex. In a culture where people get drunk precisely in order to have sex, questions of consent can become very complex. If we really think non-consensual sex is seriously wrong, we need to start treating consensual sex as a serious choice, not just a good time.

They should—to use the word that is always a bit embarrassing when we speak of sex—love one another. Love is often the ultimate hope of those looking for sex at parties or bars. But starting with sex and hoping for true love is an improbable fantasy. But when it follows love, sex becomes an eloquent expression of deep, intense, and enduring delight. An ethics of sexual commitment cannot be just another set of rules. The s of definitions and restrictions we now find in college codes of conduct sadly recall the old Catholic manuals of moral theology, precisely defining each species and degree of sexual sin.

Neither exercise could solve the underlying problem of a misguided conception of sexuality, whether a limitation of sex to marital procreation or a reduction of sex to a freely chosen form of entertainment. A full ethics of sexual commitment would require an intellectually and emotionally satisfying understanding of love—something like what Plato, for his time, sought in the Symposium.

Short of that utopian hope, we can at least set ourselves to question and resist the popular culture and social practices that reduce sex to fun. Gary Gutting, a frequent contributor to Commonweal , was John A. Please comments to [ protected] and the conversation on our Facebook . Sex Is Not 'Fun'. It's More than That. By Gary Gutting. Share Share Twitter Print. This story is included in these collections. Gary Gutting at Commonweal. Published in the September 23, issue:. View Contents. Also by this author More than Animals. This story is included in these collections:.

Related Ethics. Secularism and Modernity. By Claude-Francois Jullien. A Christian in the Office of Constitutional Judge. By Bernard G. Must Re. Our faith promotes the dignity and rights of all. In the Holy Land, this means acknowledging the disproportionate suffering faced by Palestinians. By Jordan Denari Duffner. Pastors, Not Prophets. If United States bishops are truly interested in Eucharistic coherence, humility would serve them better than punishing pro-choice politicians. By The Editors. Giving the Sickness a Name.

For the novelist Walker Percy, acedia was not just an arcane spiritual malady but a widespread, distinctly modern phenomenon. By Jeff Reimer. By Adam Fleming Petty. National Poetry Month. April is National Poetry Month. Fiction in Commonweal.

To celebrate the publication our summer fiction issue, a new collection of short stories from our archives. Facebook Twitter RSS. All rights reserved. De by Point Five, NY. Development by Deck Fifty De.

Real fun sex

email: [email protected] - phone:(363) 384-4480 x 9214

Sex Is Not 'Fun'